well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
