Pregnant stripper...not hot.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
