Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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