he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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