nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
