I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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