Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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