You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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