Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize