He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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