He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
