is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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