pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
