I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
