Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
