why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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