mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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