ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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