thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
