Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
