I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize