There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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