I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
