A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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