you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
