barbara walters just said penis...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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