hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
wow bdsm is so cute
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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