I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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