also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
