shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
