so explain again why im purple
no
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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