so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
