You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
