Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
