When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
