is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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