If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's always time for handjobs
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
