please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
