that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
