I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
