half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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