Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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