Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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