I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
