So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
