Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize