Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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