i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
