Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You pole danced in your parka.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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