I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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