It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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