Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Buhtt sex?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
