My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
