Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
