Tell her she can't have a vagina
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Randomize
