Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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