that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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