So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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