Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
