my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
