I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
