that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
