..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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