idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
