just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
