In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
