the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
